Friends are extremely important in my life and I wouldn’t know what to do without them. You can meet them at work, school, club, social gathering, or anywhere if you so choose. I have to say that most of my friends I have met through work and school. It has been a goal of mine to try and connect with more people in a different way. I mean, why limit yourself to meeting people at work and school. Perhaps, we do this because it is forced upon us and we really have no other choice. I think that by expanding your social circle, it exponentially increases your ability to get to know interesting people.
It is difficult to try and make new friends. I feel like social gatherings of strangers is kind of like kindergarten dances. In which, boys and girls are on opposite sides of the dance floor, awkwardly awaiting for someone to approach. Should it really be this difficult? Why are we scared of each other? I mean, what if we were in a room full of strangers, no friends allowed. Would it be a repeat of the kindergarten dances? Or would we naturally try and connect with the random people?
Now, for the friends you made at work or school, are they someone you would have naturally become friends with if it wasn’t for the forced social interactions? When was the last time you made a friend that wasn’t at work, school or from someone you knew? When was the last time you started a conversation with a complete stranger? We miss so many opportunities to know different people by only seeking friends in the normal social structures. Perhaps, we aren’t motivated to make friends with random strangers.
How do you determine who your friends are? The normal structural way is to have things in common. When you have things in common, it makes it easier to connect. It is comfortable and familiar. When you have nothing in common, the person is usually forgotten or marked as an acquaintance. I usually determine a friend by how they treat me and other people. I usually have a good understanding of how a person is by seeing how they interact with other people. If you want to make friends, the hardest part is starting the conversation. While waiting for my plane, I talk to random people at the airport sometimes. I met some really interesting people, and these complete strangers are usually fine with divulging their personal life to you. I always found that interesting. I listen more than I talk because you can get a better understanding of people by just listening.
Friends are important because they support you, hang out with you, laugh with you, cry with you, go out with you, talk to you, etc. Theories indicate that we are who we are because of our friends, family, social upbringings, and surroundings. Friends are such an integral part of our lives and without them, life would not be exciting. If I had to choose between having no friends but all the money in the world, I would choose my friends. Because without them, life is meaningless and boring. Yes, you could buy friends with all the money in the world, but what are their motivations for being your friend?
This entry was inspired after going out with friends for a birthday dinner gathering. I feel extremely blessed to have great friends. It makes going through life so much easier. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t know what I would do. I appreciate everyone I am friends with. I try to show that I care by sending them a message once in a while that I love them all. Even though we know friends are going to be there for you, it is nice to say it once in a while. It feels good to hear it. So appreciate the friends you have and tell them why they are so great. I feel great when I do. 
This is a very interesting topic… mostly because it’s true of just about everyone in the world. As children our social skills are first defined by our parents and or other children that are encountered in daycare. After our first awkward steps of learning to share and accept that the world doesn’t revolve around you, you’re thrown into pre-school or kindergarden. And the cycle you mentioned begins because up to that point we were limited to who we interacted with but once you start school and are involved in a class of say 30 students, you have the choice of just sticking with those people to associate with or to branch out and try to talk to someone in another grade. The cycle tends to be the same up until you finally get a drivers license and are able to go where you please and meet anyone that you want but for whatever reason we tend to stick with the same people because we associate with them all the time. Maybe it’s because it’s comfortable or there is an underlying fear of rejection but humans as a species tend to gravitate toward what is familiar and safe. It even extends into college because we will always gravitate to the people that have a common interest such as someone on the same floor at the dorm or more specifically someone in the same major who shares many of the same classes as you.
I know in my experience that I do stay with what is familiar. For me it is a general fear of rejection (which also explains my poor love life) but for some they are able to work past that and strike up random conversations with people and all I can say to that is good for them because they, wether its conscious or not have figured out the path to success in life. It’s not just working mindlessly for someone else because you never get anywhere doing that; it’s making connections and building relationships that put you in contact with people that you would otherwise never had a chance in hell of meeting.
So I would have to say that you’re right Josh, people are for the most part very introverted even though we may not think so. I include myself in that because I do find it very hard to just talk to “strangers” and I do fit into the point that you made earlier because, and this is no slight against you in anyway because you’re a great person and I’m better for knowing you but if we hadn’t worked together than guaranteed we would not be friends.
Bottom line, if you do get the opportunity to just strike up a conversation with some random individual by all means do so because you never know when opportunity may come knocking.
Great response. A inspiring one at that.
Just something that can relate to I suppose
Thanks for article. Everytime like to read you.
Tania